The Boundaries Of Sanity
by xRaiMoonsAbyss
Summary: His haunted gaze fell upon the mirror once more, and as the figure reflected in himself grinned at him; he brought his fist to the cold glass… Pairings: Unknown. Any suggestions?
1. The Inner Workings Of Allen

Rai: Umm…hey!! Sorry about my irregular updating pattern… Here's a brand new story top make it up to you? *nervous laugh*

Lavi: This story is pretty dark if ya ask me; much more serious than the other stories Rai-chan has written!

Allen: So please enjoy!!!

Kujo: Lady 'ere doesn' own D. Gray Man.

Allen: This isn't your story, Kujo!!

Kujo: Oh, but I beg to differ, Master. Just you watch.

Rai: -Sweat drop- Anyway, this story is in fact, very different from any of my previous ones. It's plot is much more serious and takes a gander at what I feel to be, Allen's true, inner personality. I've made his character this way because I believe Allen to be much more complex and dark than he lets on, considering he was a very vulgar child before Mana came across him. And though that may have influenced him, I do believe that Cross may have in fact allowed some of his old personality to surface over the years. So…Do enjoy.

**--**

**The Boundaries of Sanity**

**Chapter 1:**

**The Inner Workings of Allen**

**--**

**Summary: **His haunted gaze fell upon the mirror once more, and as the figure reflected in himself grinned at him; he brought his fist to the cold glass…

--

"_Now I lay me down to sleep,_

_I pray the Lord my soul to keep;_

_Should I die before I wake,_

_I pray the Lord my soul to take." _

_-Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep; A Children's Prayer_

_--_

My eyes opened abruptly as pain shot through my entire body, and I had to bite down on my already numb arm in order to keep from yelling…Hard enough to hurt, but soft enough to not draw blood. I sat up, with difficulty mind you, and wiped the cold sweat off my forehead. I looked to the clock and sighed, noting that I had woken at the Devil's hour yet again…For the fifth time this week. Now, I myself am a believer of things not of our world, but hell; shit happens. And I'm not saying that it's just coincidence, but crap has been happening to me for so long, that even if it's a sign or some sort of warning; I honestly don't give a fuck. I'm too worn out to bother worrying about these sorts of things lately.

I winced as pain once again rang throughout me, and I bit down on my lip in surprise; drawing blood.

"Fucking perfect." I muttered. I chuckled lowly to myself as I wiped the blood from my lips. What would those friends of mine think if they saw me this way? How would they react to my true personality? If I do say so myself, my personality has toned down a bit since being with Mana; however…Cross came along shortly after his death. You can't blame me for being partially insane, now can you? After all, like I said…shit happens. And lots of shit has happened to me…

--

"Allen! Good morning!!" I turned to see Lenalee coming in my direction, I smiled at her and waited for her to catch up. She was like an older sister to me, but siblings come with their annoyances. And God, she could get on my nerves. Don't get me wrong, I care for her and all…But she could be such an annoyance when she wanted to. And I could just tell when my dear 'sister' wanted to push my buttons. She was so damn manipulative, it made me feel bad for whoever happened to marry her.

"Good morning, Lenalee." I said quietly. Lenalee was probably one of the only ones to have seen a _glimpse_ of my true nature. However, you can't doubt Kanda or Lavi when it came to their observational skills. I wouldn't be surprised if they noticed something strange in my behavioral attitude. Though, be that as it may, they haven't seen anything yet. …God that sounded cheesy.

"How did you sleep?" Lenalee asked, her brows furrowed with worry. Crap…I forgot that she knew about that. Funny story actually, we were on a mission once when I woke up with a scream, and she happened to come run into my room while I was muttering a string of very colorful curses. And yes, that was how she came to glimpse upon my disheveled self.

I brought my finger to her forehead and my expression deadpanned.

"If you keep on worrying, you'll get wrinkles." I told her, chuckling. "And no one would want to marry you then." I added as an afterthought. I laughed as she began chasing me, yelling incoherent things that I couldn't process. I could tell she was threatening me. I kept on running until I bumped into someone.

"Sor-

"Watch it, Walker." Joy! It's Link! Why don't you go die, you freakin' ball of sunshine?!

"Sorry about that, I wasn't watching where I was going." I told him, glaring.

"Obviously not." God, how I wanted to pound his face in. Always on my back about every little thing. I wish I could just flip him off, but then Leverrier would be on my ass about that; the fucker. "Be more aware next time, Walker."

…Fuck you too.

"Allen! Are you okay? What happened?" Lenalee asked, walking up to me.

"And you got here just now?" I grumbled.

"Sorry for not wanting to interrupt! I had to wait aside considering it would have been rude of me to stop Link mid-sentence. And besides, his position is above ours. What could I have possibly done?" she asked me, exasperated.

"Yeah yeah, tone it down 'girl with no change of getting married'." She huffed in annoyance. Oh how fun revenge was.

"Whatever!! Let's just go get breakfast!"

--

I had to admit, I really didn't have much of an appetite today. But if I skipped breakfast people would worry and suspect that something's the matter. And that's a big no no.

"Allen!!" I turned to where I heard the voice coming from, and I saw Lavi skipping merrily. Of course. But now that I think of it, I envy him for being able to switch between different facades so easily. Lucky bastard. I stuck my tongue out at him and grinned.

"Morning Lavi. You seem happy." And his grin seemed to grow at the mention of the word.

"But of course I'm happy dear Allen!! Panda let me off from paperwork today!!" his presence literally sparkled with relief. I smiled at him before my body froze instinctively. Fuck…what is it now? I turned around to see Leverrier standing behind me in all his 'I am holier than thou' glory. Piss off.

"Walker, fancy meeting you here." I glowered at him and made sure he damn well saw the look of hate in my eyes. First Link, now you? He of course, noticed and slapped me right across the face. "Watch yourself, Walker. Next time, it will be much worse than that. Remember that I'm your superior, brat." You know what, go die somewhere you fucker. You probably get a kick out of making me look like a fool, don't you? And when the Noah inside me said to kill him, I half-heartedly agreed that it would be one of the best things to ever happen in the Order. Note that I said half-heartedly. I'd be killed for sure if I did that, and I can't have that, now can I? So I settled for imagining his various death scenarios in my mind.

"Allen, you okay?" I felt the stares of everyone on me and I sighed.

"I'm fine Lenalee. Leverrier was probably having a bad day. You know, the usual." I assured her, lying. I wanted to maim something…badly. Damn, anger management just goes right out the window at times like this, eh? I inhaled deeply and turned to walk out of the cafeteria. Perfect excuse to not eat anything. "I'm not feeling well at the moment, Lenalee. So, would you please excuse me?" She glanced at me knowingly, and nodded. Heh, she was more observant than I gave her credit for.

--

I sat on my bed, doing absolutely nothing. I couldn't exactly describe how I was feeling. Technically speaking, if I wasn't feeling numb, I would be experiencing acute pain; that's for sure.

I turned my gaze to the mirror. That bloody figure was still staring back at me, taunting me. Fucking harasser. I quickly looked away, feeling sick when something caught my eye. I looked back at the mirror to find that he was showing me something. What I saw made me gasp in horror.

_I'm on the floor, writhing in pain. I open my mouth to yell but nothing comes out. It feels like I'm drowning in pain, and every part of my body burns. Everyone around me is yelling and screaming, in…fear, is it? I get up and everyone suddenly starts running; even my so called friends begin running away. And then it hits me, they're running from me. And I'm a Noah.  
_

'**Listen kid, don't let 'im get ta yah. Do not let the 14th**** get ta yah.'**

'What?'

'**What, are ya hard of hearin'? You know damn well wha' I said.'**

'Who the hell are you?'

'**Name's Kujo, nice to meet ya; oh faithful exorcist. Shall I call ye Master?'**

'Whatever floats your boat, I guess…And what are you, exactly?'

'**Thought you'd have realized by now…Technically I'm your inner Noah, but not exactly.'**

'What do you mean, not exactly?'

'**Well, by that I mean I was originally 'sposed to be yer Noah side; but ye have quite the resistance. So instead of being somethin' that takes over yer body cuz of the 14****th****'s memories, I'm more like an alternate personality. However, just because I 'aint gon' take over ye, don't mean I don't have Noah-like qualities.'**

'Gee, it's nice to know that I'm more fucked up than I thought.'

'**Heh, well that's just the beginning'. The 14****th****'s memories have somehow manifested into an inner being, like mahself. So Master, ye got yerself three personalities. Yers, mine, and the 14****th****'s.'**

'So…let me get this straight. You're the voice that I hear inside my head most of the times? For instance, the one that wanted Leverrier dead earlier?'

'**You bet yer ass tha' was me.'**

'And I don't even need to guess who the 14th is…'

I looked to the mirror with a haunted gaze. The figure grinned up at me and I did without thinking, I brought my hand to the cold glass and as blood trickled down my fist, I still couldn't feel a thing.

--

'**Wake up ye 'lil trouble maker.' **

I opened my eyes and all I saw was white. I wonder…

'**Pfft, yeah right. Yer not in heaven Master. I doubt we'd be allowed up there; no offense to ya or anything.'**

'None taken…Kujo, was it?'

'**Yepp.'**

"Fucking perfect. Yes Allen, go ahead and land yourself in the god damn infirmary so you don't draw attention to yourself. Way to fucking go, genius." I grumbled, fingering the blood-stained bandages on my hand.

"Um…Allen?" My gaze met with wide-eyes. Oh crap...

"…Fuck my life."

'**Nice going Master; now they think yer crazy."**

--

And how was that for a slightly humorous ending for a serious story? Anyway, I hope you liked it!!

I feel as if it was thrown together very poorly, but to each man his own.

Please tell me what you think?

And until next time~

Rai.


	2. Truths Revealed, Bonds Weakened

Rai: Hello people; Summer's here!! AND IT SUCKS ASS. TTwTT So I decided to treat you all to a mass update of fanfics~

Kujo: 'Er else I'm gon' have 'ta make ye enjoy it, know what I mean? -Cracks Knuckles-

Allen: Now Kujo, watch yourself. You should be thanking all the viewers out there~ Besides, you're not in the anime or manga: so without them and Rai here, your existence would mean nothing.

Kujo: Harsh words, Master. Ouch... Ye hurt me... hurt me deep.

Allen: Oh stop being so melodramatic. I was merely joking. Anyhow, do enjoy the newest update for the Boundaries of Sanity. Rai does not own D. Gray Man.

Kujo: And she never will, so bye bye now!! Read on people!!

Rai:...-sulks- What they said.

–

**The Boundaries Of Sanity**

**Chapter 2:**

**Truths Revealed: Bonds Weakened**

–

**Summary: **His haunted gaze fell upon the mirror once more, and as the figure reflected in himself grinned at him; he brought his fist to the cold glass.

–

_Previously:_

"_Fucking perfect. Yes Allen, go ahead and land yourself in the god damn infirmary so you don't draw attention to yourself. Way to fucking go, genius." I grumbled, fingering the blood-stained bandages on my hand._

"_Um…Allen?" My gaze met with wide-eyes. Oh crap..._

"…_Fuck my life."_

'_**Nice going Master; now they think yer crazy.'**_

–

"_The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me."_

_-Ayn Rand_

–

Great. Fucking great. Now what the hell am I supposed to do? What the hell do I tell them? 'Why hello there dear friends, the Allen you thought was Allen really isn't the true Allen and this fucked up guy right here; the one talking to himself and cursing frantically, yeah: that's the Allen you all thought you knew. But don't worry, I don't bite.' Yes. Wouldn't that be amusing?

**'Damn Master, yer even crazier than I thought.'**

'Like they say, Kujo... Insanity is genius.'

**'True.'**

"Um...Allen? A-Are you okay?" I stared blankly at Lenalee. Really, common sense just flew out the window. Sighing, I cracked an odd smile, hoping it would be even a bit convincing. And as I stared at the reactions of my comrades, I immediately dropped the act and glowered.

"I'm perfectly fine, thanks for asking. Although, you guys don't seem very well. You look pale, are you feeling alright?" I asked, completely avoiding the task at hand.

"..."

"What?"

"..."

"Is there something on my face?"

"..."

"What the fuck? Really, you should all just take a damn picture; it will last much longer. So do me a favor and stop freaking staring at me!" I threw my hands in the air, exasperated. When their eyes bulged out of their sockets; I cursed inwardly.

"..."

"You act as if this was unexpected. And Lenalee; you of all people should not be surprised. Honestly, if you guys would have looked at me from various perspectives, then this should have come as old news." I looked away from them, crossing my arms. And as moments of silence passed, I counted how many seconds it would take for someone to speak.

"Allen." Oh joy, someone speaks up at last. Way to fucking waste 398 seconds of my life.

"Hm?" I question, cracking one eye open whilst raising a brow.

"You've got some explaining to do." Fuck.

"Well of course I do, captain obvious." Well at least I was being polite.

**'Of course ye were, Master.'**

**

* * *

  
**

"So..where exactly do you want me to start?" I ask, yawning. I opened my eyes lazily to see Lavi staring intently at me. "What?" I asked.

"Please don't take this so lightly, Allen. We're worried about you, so please don't take our feelings lightly." I nodded in understanding but grit my teeth in anger. Hell, I never did well with lectures. Though I admit it's childish of me, it's just how I've always been.

**'A problem, Master?'**

'No, I just don't work well with lectures. They irk me....for lack of better words.'

"Something displease you, Allen?" Lavi yells, grabbing me by the collar of my shirt, lifting me up in the air a bit... "Because really, I don't have to care at all. I'm not supposed to care in the first place! So pray tell what you find so not to your liking."

"I never asked you to bother caring." I muttered softly, but loud enough for them to hear. Next thing I knew I found myself eating a fist and being dropped to the floor in an abrupt yet swift motion. I glared up at him to find a seething emerald eye glaring back down at me. I brought my hand to my swollen jaw, wiping blood from my mouth; and my eyes hardened.

"If you're so hell bent on this, then fine!! I won't fucking care!" Lavi yelled, his expression reflecting pain, hurt, and betrayal.

"**Fer tha moment, please don't yell an' allow me to explain, would ya?"**

'Damn it all, Kujo. Give me control of my fucking body.'

**'Ah ah ah, Master. Patience is a virtue. So sit back an' relax, let me explain things to 'em.'**

Well fuck. I guess there's nothing else I can do. It never occurred to me how being in my own mind would be. It's like watching a never-ending movie...That is of course...Until I die.

I watched with bitter eyes as my comrades stared at Kujo. I took in his appearance and chuckled. It was as if he was a carbon copy of myself, though there were differences. His hair was midnight black, his skin was tanned as a Noah's would be, and his eyes were that of an alluring gold. And instead of the usual seven stigmata that adorned a Noah's forehead, there was one small stigmata mark located on the upper right area of his forehead. His curse mark, like mine, was red in all it's bloody glory. And briefly, I spotted a marking on his upper right arm that read 'Λάθος Νώε.'

_**'It reads False Noah, just in case you're wondering.' **_I turn to find myself face to face with none other than the 14th.

"....What the hell is it that you want?"

"_**I merely wanted to greet you, Allen~" **_And after sending a haunting grin my way, he disappeared in a blur of red petals. How fucking cliché.

"Who are you?" I heard Lavi ask, snapping me back to reality. I turned and continued to watch as the events unfolded before me.

"**Tha name's Kujo, an' I'm Master's alter ego, if you will."**

"Alter ego? You seem more like a Noah to me." Lavi spat, watching Kujo closely.

"**Ah, but that's where yer wrong, Lavi. I was originally meant ta' be Master's Noah form, though some things changed tha' completely."**

"Explain what you mean by that, Kujo." And this time it was Komui who spoke, pushing up the rim of his glasses, looking at Kujo warily.

"**I was born in response to tha 14th's memories bein' implanted in Master. Since Master was able to fight it off, I became more of a split personality. However, do not be mistaken... As I was meant to be a Noah, I have Noah-like qualities and powers." **I noticed that Kujo was serious, and his usually playful accent was gone. **"But you may need to be aware of one more thing. I am not the only entity residing in Master's mind. The 14th Noah's memories have somehow managed to manifest into an inner entity as well. Heed my words that although you may not have to worry about me, the 14th is an entirely different story."**

"So this is why Allen has been acting so... strange lately?" It was Lenalee who spoke this time.

"**Your words are amusin'. No, I am not tha reason Master has been...strange. Tha' is simply how Master is. Though I, along with the 14th, may have somethin' to do with all tha stress he's been experiencing."**

"I find it hard to believe that Allen is really like that!" Lavi yelled. Simply, I was taken aback.

'Why?'

**'He simply does not want to believe that their savior is tainted.' **I chuckled dryly, and brought my hands to my face.

'It is time I regained control, Kujo.'

Lavi and the others watched as Kujo shut his eyes and smiled bitterly and spoke aloud...

"**As you wish, Master."**

I opened my eyes and my features were back to normal. I took one last look at Lavi, Lenalee, Kanda, Komui, Reever, Miranda, and Krory before stomping off; slamming the door harshly behind me.

* * *

'**Master..'**

"Leave me be...Kujo." I whispered, clutching the blade I kept hidden in my coat.

**'If that is your wish.'**

_You stare at me with a disappointed smile,_

_'cause doing this makes life worthwhile..._

I gripped the blade and slashed across my arm roughly and repeatedly, relishing in the feeling it gave me. **Exhilerating. **

_You accepted this behavior, my moral is gone;_

_So from my body more blood is drawn._

The door is busted open and I'm surprised to see Kanda, off all people, standing before me with concerned eyes.

_Although it's true that you may care_

_There's also loathing hidden deep in the air._

"Oi, Beansprout! What the hell do you think you're doing?" He yelled at me, taking the blade from me and throwing it to the corner.

_Has it ever occurred, inside your mind_

_That this is how my life's defined?_

"I though I told you my fucking name is Allen. Get it straight."

_Reality is cruel and I'm constantly stressed,_

_And this is the time when my griefs are redressed._

I looked up at Kanda to find him gently cleaning the cuts, his eyes softening a bit.

_And though deep down inside I know it is wrong,_

_there's no other choice but to just move along._

"Kanda?"

"What do you want?" He said coldly, though his actions betrayed the indifference he showed.

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

"Che." I smirked.

_So please tell me to stop, it's not time to die;_

_You say it's okay and I know that's a lie._

* * *

And there you go! The newest installment of The Boundaries of Sanity!!

I have not yet decided whether to make this a yaoi or not, so please vote on that matter!!

Though if it makes I easier, I can make two separate stories: A yaoi version and a non-yaoi version~

Anyway; more updates coming soon! (Sooner than you think~)

Review? (They fuel my soul ^o^)

~Rai

P.S. I wrote the poem myself! It's based on the quote from earlier~


	3. What Kujo Calls Acceptance

Rai: I apologize for the overdue update~ I'd like to take this time to apologize if I offended anyone with the last chapter's ending.. I haven't received any complaints, but as I looked over the chapter to see where the plot left off, I found myself offended by the content. Not because it was included, but because of how stereotypical it seemed. Perhaps I shouldn't have ended it that way, however, what's done is done. And if I did offend you in any way, my sincerest apologies.

Oh, and as a side note, I have not yet chosen if this is to become a yaoi or not. I will simply wait and see what the future entails. However, if it pleases my readers, I will gladly make a different version of the story in which the opposite takes place (i.e., if it does not become a yaoi, the other version will be such.) Any who, please enjoy the newest chapter of The Boundaries of Sanity~

Warnings: Standard Kujo grammar, profanities, & self-mutilation references. If you don't take kindly to these things, then please stop reading. Thank you~

----

**The Boundaries Of Sanity**

**Chapter 3:**

**What Kujo Calls "Acceptance"**

----

**Summary: **His haunted gaze fell upon the mirror once more, and as the figure reflected in himself grinned at him; he brought his fist to the cold glass.

----

_Previously:_

"_I though I told you my fucking name is Allen. Get it straight."_

_Reality is cruel and I'm constantly stressed,_

_And this is the time when my griefs are redressed._

_I looked up at Kanda to find him gently cleaning the cuts, his eyes softening a bit._

_And though deep down inside I know it is wrong,_

_there's no other choice but to just move along._

"_Kanda?"_

"_What do you want?" He said coldly, though his actions betrayed the indifference he showed._

"_Do you think I'm crazy?"_

"_Che." I smirked._

_So please tell me to stop, it's not time to die;_

_You say it's okay and I know that's a lie._

_----_

"_Come what way, tomorrow is another day; but do not worry, tomorrow never comes."_

_~Unknown_

_

* * *

  
_

**'Master?'**

'Yes, Kujo?'

**'I, uh... About tha' Lavi kid; maybe 'ye should go an' talk ta' him. He seems ta' really care an' all... Plus, tha boy seemed pretty shaken up.'**

'I'm not in the mood to speak to anyone, Kujo. Him of all people.'

**'Bearin' a grudge, Master?'**

'No. Nothing of the sort. I just... As much as it pains me to say this; regardless of whether or not I'm a bratty piece of shit who's too pessimistic for his own good- I still refer to them as _friends_. Which in itself is hypocritical of me because of the way I've been acting'

**'An' how is tha' so?'**

'Word: friends. Part of speech: Noun. Definition: A person who is attached to another by feelings of affection of personal regard. Kujo, I've been whole-heartedly refuting and contradicting that statement in certain ways. I doubt them. I can't bring myself to completely trust them. And I act as if I could care less.'

**'Perhaps they'd understand, Master.'**

'I'm not in the mood. Let's just leave it at that, okay?'

**'As you wish, Master.'**

"Maybe some other day, Kujo." I mutter, fondling my bandages. It's been four days since I've gotten these wounds. "I'm pretty sure the last thing they want to see is the crazy fuck who ruined the sane perfection that was Allen Walker."

**'But you are he, Master.'**

"All the more reason for them to hate me, right? I messed up that perfect image. Sure, Lenalee had a gist of the real me; but even _she _was taken aback. What about the rest of them?"

**'It is unbecoming of 'ye, Master, ta' be feeling so insecure.'**

I chuckled darkly. "Unbecoming my ass. Insecurity my ass. Didn't I say so already, Kujo? I'm a bratty piece of shit who's too pessimistic for his own damn good." Exhaling loudly, I collapsed onto my bed. "Perhaps that is why Mana chose me. I'm too weak to stand alone. I wouldn't be able to just run away from what I've been committed to. The perfect person to take advantage of, wouldn't you say so?"

**'Since the time I began residin' within yer mind, Master, I have never heard 'ye bad-mouthing Mana Walker.'**

"I suppose I'm just doubting my past, Kujo. Nothing is as it seems. This is something I've learned the hard way." Staring up at the ceiling, I let my mind wander. Did Mana really love me? Or was what I said true? Allowing my mask of indifference to fall, I let my eyes reflect the loneliness I felt without Mana by my side. I so desperately wanted the former to be true. I wanted to believe that, at some point in my life, I felt the love of a father.

**'I'm sure he grew 'ta love 'ye as his own, Master.'**

"When one asks for advice, give them direction, not correction. Kujo, take that to heart. If I find out he never did love me, then what are you gonna do when you're forced to accept the fact that you had me riding on false hopes?"

**'Forgive me, Master, but shall I be blunt with you?' **I blinked. The accent was gone.

"Go ahead."

**'Yer bein' one hell of a brat right now, ya know that? An' it's really startin' to piss me the fuck off. Don't redirect something when someone's trying to cheer you up. Don't push the burden on to that person's shoulders because you're too much of a damn wuss to accept that things won't always go the way you fucking want it to. Honestly, Master, you of all people should understand this.'**

Smiling sadly, I nodded as I wiped away the tears that began to form. I was being such a fucking sissy. A sissy with mood-swings and PMS. Laughing quietly at the thought, I thanked Kujo; got up, and headed towards Komui's office.

* * *

"A-Allen? Is that you?" I glared at the Chinese supervisor. Way to state the obvious.

"No, Komui. It isn't. I'm an alien sent from God knows where to eat your brains and destroy you all. Who the hell do you think it is? Honest to God, I'm not some damn mutant..." Staring down at my arm, and regarding the 14th and Kujo within my mind, I stared at him sheepishly. "Scratch that. I might as well be. But anyway, can I come in?"

**'There's tha Master I know an' love~" **Shove it, Kujo.

"You seem cheerful, Allen. Did something happen?" Stepping into his pigsty of an office, I regarded him with a blank look. Did I really look like a ball of sunshine on a cloudy day? Shaking my head, I turned my gaze to the man.

"I seem cheerful to you? Me?" The thought intrigued me. Didn't the real me come off as a bit of a downer to everyone? Or are these people just plain mental? Oh, dear me. I seem to have forgotten that, indeed, these people were all stark mad.

"Compared to the other day, you seem less tense. Much more relaxed; and I dare say, you seem almost determined. Besides, we can handle Kanda, can't we?" I glared at him.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't take offense to that comment. Anyway, that brings us to why I am currently here. Please call the others and assemble them, will you?"

"And may I ask why?" I scowled; cheeky asshole.

"Just do the damned thing, Komui."

**'He has a point there, Master. You do seem more relaxed. And of course, you aren't filled with as much teenage angst~' **For the love of that bloody Earl, I could practically hear him grinning. Fuck my life. I really am insane.

"Brother, we're here!! Why did you want us?" I turned to find myself face to face with my comrades. Damn it, why the hell did Komui decide to not be lazy **now**, of all times? "Um, hello there, Allen. W-We uh, didn't know you were here. Sorry if we um, interrupted something. We'll just be going now. Brother, call us when you're done discussing." As they made to leave the room, my scowl deepened.

"For fuck's sake, you didn't interrupt anything. I was the one who asked Komui to gather you all here." They were all staring at me curiously. Questioningly. God damn it, this is why I hate caring for people.

**'Well, there's tha acceptance, Master.' **And suddenly I felt a migraine coming on.

'Kujo, quit it. I'm not going through some damn phase.'

**'Oh, but I concur, Master! There was the denial. Now it's the acceptance.'**

Growling, I told the bloody idiot to shut the fuck up. Naturally, it had to be out loud. Ergo, I received even stranger stares.

"God damn it, I'm sure I've told you all to take a picture, haven't I?! It really does last longer." I paused. "Damn it. Wait... I didn't mean that. What I meant was... Well what I meant to say was..." I brought my fingers to my temples, trying to soothe the headache. "AH! FUCK THIS! DAMN IT, KUJO! JUST TAKE OVER ALREADY!" They all blinked as my features began to change.

"**Well... Tha' was certainly interesting..."** Huffing indignantly, I watched as Kujo rubbed his head nervously. **"That wasn't very nice, leavin' me here to do yer dirty work, Master. 'Ye could have at least warned me."**

'Yeah well... I didn't know what to say.' I saw him smile.

**'Understood.'**

"**Why hello again, ladies and gents. Kujo, at your service. Tha reason Master called ya all here is because he wanted to tell you somethin' of great importance."**

"And what the hell would that be?" I'm fucking _sorry_, Lavi.

"**Patience, dear exorcist. I'm getting' there~" **Kujo was grinning like a madman. **"First things first, I'd just like you all to know that Master thinks of himself as a, and I quote, 'bratty piece of shit who's too pessimistic for his own good.'" **Damn it, Kujo. Just get to the bloody point.** "And right now, he's being completely adorable because of the fact that he doesn't want to admit to you that he really does care~" **Fuck my life. You, Kujo, are so dead.

"**An' now if you'll excuse me, it seems my time here is done~" **It's an odd sensation, to feel your physical features return back to normal. It gave you a type of shiver. Truth be told, it was honestly more of a shudder. But I'll grow accustomed to it, I suppose.

I braved staring at my acquaintances. Many of them were gaping like a fish out of water. I could just tell that I was blushing oh so prettily. And I was being sarcastic, by the way. So Kujo, you can go kill yourself now.

"Look...About what Kujo said...Feel free to disregard every fucking thing he said! In no way, shape or form, do I care about any of you!" I blinked. "Wait, no! That's not what I fucking mean. Oh god damn it. I mean, I do c-care. You know, 'cause we're friends right? Oh fuck, I mean um...Okay fine. So I do mean that. I fucking care about you damned lot. And I'm fucking _sorry,_ okay? I'm sorry that I lied about my personality. I'm sorry that I'm not the precious Allen Walker you thought me to be. You're going to have to settle for this insane piece of crap in his place." Never thought I'd be a shadow of a facade. Now that's a new one.

Lenalee. Kanda. Lavi. Miranda. Krory. Komui. Reever. Johnny. Have I really lost them all? For being who I am? I stared at the ground. Hard.

Well, I guess that's that. It really is the end, huh?

"...Well, Beansprout, I guess it's kind of hard to stay mad at you after that~" I looked up to find Lavi grinning sheepishly. I growled.

"Fucking hell, Lavi. Is THIS all it took for you to forgive me?" I scowled. Wait... I yearned for forgiveness?

"Well, Sprout, being forgiven does entail an apology." Kanda was smirking. He was fucking smirking. Fuck. You. Last time I be sincere with you damned people.

**'No, Master. You just want to be accepted for who you are.'**

"I suppose you're warming up to us again, right, Allen? But this time, the real you is." I froze.

**'Lenalee's right, Master. About a week ago 'ye were too caught up in bein' cynical tha' you wouldn't have even considered doing this.'**

'Well, they found out anyway. Mostly because I was being an insane shit-head, but whatever. And I'm not changing. I'm me. Got it?'

**'Of course, Master.'**

Glaring holes into the ground, I muttered curses under my breath. Lavi was ruffling my hair affectionately, relief sparkling in that one, perceptive eye. Lenalee and Komui were smiling, as if they had anticipated this whole thing. Kanda as scowling, as usual, but he seemed to be regarding me with a look of approval. Miranda was apologizing profusely about not noticing sooner. Johnny and Krory were crying waterfalls. And Reever stood in the middle, mouthing a 'good job,' to me.

Well _fuck_. I guess it's good to be home.

* * *

Rai: This was more of a relief chapter than anything else. To get the plot going and everything. More serious stuff to follow~

I really hope you enjoyed the new chapter!! Please leave a review telling me your thoughts~ I really do love turning my protagonists into adorable balls of sarcastic angst; it makes things all the more interesting :D

Anyway, until next time:

Rai signing off~


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